Update!

Let’s see if I can remember all that’s happened…

1. We came back to Thanjavour (after being in the Ananthan Ashram in Hosur)

Hmm, I found a new way to keep the mosquitoes away……wearing a sweater!! I’m such a trend setter ;]

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Oh, I also met up with Christmas Tata. He looked a bit different than what I remembered from childhood, but maybe that’s just because I got a little taller….Image

I practiced my art skills with the kids by drawing butterflies and other creatures. The kids colored them, then we pasted them onto sticks. Later we hid them and had the children go out and find them.

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We live near a river, but it wasn’t until the 23 of December that I got to go down to see the river. Oh, and I’m also getting better with henna…yes, I drew both…Image

Of course, we can’t have Christmas without a Christmas tree!! So I stayed up late to help decorate the tree!! Not quite a pine tree, but it got the job done! ๐Ÿ™‚ย  Image

There was a Christmas program where children came to the ashram and got gifts! but most importantly of all….they got CAKE!!! Seriously, though, the cake was good….Image

In all the excitement, I was afraid that I would be forgotten……Image

After the function, we put on our fancy clothes and headed to the Palace, where we climbed these very tight and steep steps up to the highest point allowed.

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Today we made crafts. The popular item of the day were stars!!

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And of course, what day is complete without dinner?? I was very hungry…Image

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I feel the <3

You know you’re loved when instead of buying toys, children use their Christmas money to buy you a birthday cake!! They kept trying to keep a “secret” but since they’re children, it got out. It was sooo cute to see green cake in the fridge!!

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So, I felt like they would enjoy making stars. We worked on them and they came out looking AWESOME!! (with a little adjustment ;]ย  )Image

Yes, that is our Christmas tree in the background!!

Where’s Christmas Adam?

Today was Christmas Eve, but no Adam in sight ๐Ÿ˜‰ I keep forgetting it’s Christmas time. I guess not having my family near is causing severe denial. More than once I’ve heard/read my friends say/write, “ti’s not about where you are, it’s who you’re with” but even then, I’m not with my family. I guess I should be happy that I’m with my foster family aka. Kamala’s family and friends (she’s not quite a mother figure to me, but more motherly than a sister).

As has been the tradition in my family for years, we distribute and open our presents on Christmas eve. This was no exception. I got to gift wrap the presents and then distribute them to my surrogate family! It was exciting seeing the children open presents and finding various little goodies inside ๐Ÿ™‚ That simple joy on their faces makes it all worth while. I was an odd child. Upon receiving a gift, instead of being happy and excited, I was confused as to why I was given a present. It just didn’t make sense to me why someone would give you something for nothing….Jesus was born….I get a present? Did they expect something from me? Was I in debt to them after receiving this gift? It never dawned upon me that perhaps just giving was what made the giver happy. It’s not even about what you give, it’s just that you took the time to think about that person and doing so is a demonstration of how much they mean to you. I’m sorry friends that I was unable to get you something this Christmas ๐Ÿ˜ฆ but I do promise that I’m praying for each of you this holiday season!! Merry Christmas!!

P.S. In India, Santa Claus is known as “Christmas Tata” which means “Christmas Grandfather”…guess what we gave Kamala’s father this Christmas!! ๐Ÿ˜› I’ll post a pic later ๐Ÿ˜€

Highlights:

I have not been keeping up with the blogging and I apologize for that!

Yesterday’s highlights: Got my cardio work out climbing the steps of a temple on a mountain; Ate unripe mango with chili powder;Got pet by an elephant (may have contracted lice from this); Accidentally insinuated I was married; Ate delicious paratha; ended the day with fireworks ๐Ÿ˜€

Today’s highlights: woke up late and super sore from yesterday’s walk; drew on the floor with chalk; played Indian game (forgot the name of the game); made a crowd of school girls giggle (yup, still got the charm ๐Ÿ˜‰ ); ate cake and other sugary treats; found 3 different types of parasites inhabiting me (not so much a highlight as more of a downing light…)

Love Love Love

I’ve been at the Ananthan Ashram for about a month now. It is situated in the city of Hosur, which is still in Tamil Nadu, but differs from my previous destination in that it provides a city environment rather than a village environment.

There have been ups and downs during my stay at the Children’s home. First and foremost, the love I’ve received, not only from the children but also from the staff and new found friends, has lifted my spirit in times of desperation. I’ve contracted a fever twice. Shanti (who is a staff but grew up in the orphanage) made me special “sick-person” food and Valie amma came to see me after walking the children to school(I usually walk with the children, but that day I would become dizzy when moving at normal speed).ย  On the latter occasion, my condition was so critical that it was necessary to receive a fever reducing shot. I would haveย  just rested and let my body take care of itself, as it has for many years, but it didn’t seem wise to jeopardize my nicely plumped neurons (after the four years of science training I have grown quite fond of them).

Mother’s Love: This past Sunday, as I checked on the children to see if any were not sleeping, a strange sight startled me. One of the girls ( cough….my favorite one…cough) had a safety pin piercing her ear. It might have been due to the sugary treats I had recently eaten, but that sight made my stomach churn. I quickly ran to my room to get a cotton swab with alcohol to clean the wound. At first, she tried to hide her ear from me, but I kept repeating, “We must keep it clean” as I had previously said when scrubbing clean one of their combs. As I held her in my arms and tried my best to clean the hole, the situation puzzled me. Why on earth a young girl would subject herself to such pain? When I felt I had sufficiently cleaned it, I took leave.

As I washed my hands, I felt my heart unsettled. I wanted to make sure she was safe from the vile clutches of bacterial infections. In order to feel some sort of peace, I again approached her and to ask if she had burned the needle before making the piercing. She avoidedย  me as if I were the plague! My attempts at calming her were futile as she requested I leave her alone.

Heart broken by the rejection, I sought comfort in the arms of mother nature. Why did her rejection seem to rip….no, massacre my heart? Is it because…dare I say it… I love this little girl? Yes, it is true. (for years, I’ve hid my heart so that it would not be trampled upon, but pain has always beenย  inevitable) Is this how my own mother felt the many times I rejected her comforting??ย  If so, I repent a million times over.

Although I am not a mother (perhaps I may never take on that role), I have felt the pain that comes from loving and wanting the best for your child(sometimes I even become upset at the school teachers for not focusing on my children more and making sure they understand the material). If this rejection pain still resonates in my heart today, I can only imagine what our Heavenly Father feels each time we reject Him. Far superior are His plans for us than anyย  mankind can make. Yet, we run away from Him. We avoid talking to Him, we reject Him completely. Yet, He continues to love us.

Mysteries are the Best!

Yesterday it rained heavily, which means that I was able to see some amazing things. The thunder was so powerful and it made me realize how powerless I am. I wasn’t scared or anything, because I just feel that God is taking care of me. Everything is meant for a reason, I may not know what reason, but I have to trust that God will deliver me. Well, the children tried to fish out a crab they killed from the soon-to-be second pond. They also tried to recapture a yellow from from yesterday, who also resides in the soon-to-be pond. This was such an amazing experience because as I child I was never in an environment where such creatures roamed freely. Don’t get me wrong, my experiences were magical in their own way. I admired the details of a crab’s legs from the seat adjacent to the man eating the sea soup. I bonded with my dissection frog as I imitated it’s natural leg motions using my forceps. Jajaja! Keeping positive!

My mom loves natural medicine which is why I got so excited when Kamela (one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met!!) told me about different leafs and their healing effects.Today, I collected a few leafs that Kamela had showed me (they taste like mint…) and washed them. While gazing at the amazing view from the porch, I felt some discomfort on my sleeve. “It must be a phantom mosquito” I thought, since there was no bug on my sleeve. I blew on it just to be sure. The discomfort then turned to pain. “Maybe it’s a new mosquito bite?” I lifted my short sleeve a little but didn’t see anything. Again, I needed to double check. This time, I saw a huge red/orange ant on my skin (I’m actually not exaggerating about it being huge…) and tried to take it off. I tried to flick it off but it didn’t budge, so I had to grab it with my index finger and thumb! Guess what…it bit my finger!! No Joke! I’m usually pretty calm about bugs, but this one freaked me out with its persistence!! I had to wipe it on my pants to get it off, and even then I had to rub it onto my pants, then flicked its motionless body off.

My mom once told me that during her visit to my dad’s sabbath school class, one child had asked if it was wrong for us to kill bugs. She had no answer seeing as how her own children had never asked her this question before (we all agreed that the answer to this question was obvious so we never asked). She said that in the heap of her desperation, her wise husband jumped in and said that it depends on the situation. You have to remember that bugs have a family as well and it is wrong for us to deny them a life. If they are harming you, then yes, it must be done, but if they are not, just let them be.

At that moment, I’m sorry but I didn’t care. I was desperate to get it off me. I tried as best I could to kill it!! I then power walked to the kitchen (wanted to regain some sort of composure in front of the children) and washed it with soap and water. Oh, I didn’t cry, so I couldn’t use my tears as an antiseptic ๐Ÿ˜‰

Before I flicked it’s lifeless body off my pants, I was able to get a good look at it. It was red/orange, kind of like plastic orange. It was larger than normal ants (had it not been huge I would have thought it was a fire ant). There was no burning or swelling on nor around the site of interest. Some web sites I read said that ant chemicals are water soluble, so washing it was a good move ๐Ÿ™‚ *high five myself* I’ve been searching the internet to find the mysterious type of ant that so eagerly bit me! I’ll take a pic later to show you because I know I’ve seen lots of them around.

I feel good, not about surviving my close encounter with nature, but about having an amazing God. He is taking care of me just like he promised. This is something I take for granted. I make silly decisions with the assurance that God will always protect me and I completely neglect to show and to tell him that Iย  appreciate His love. It’s doesn’t just stop at the deliverance from the mystery ant (some ant bites actually decrease fevers, so it could be that I was to develop a fever and this was God’s health care…no? too much imagination??), it’s the deliverance from stomach problems due to drinking fresh cow milk (I’m actually lactose intolerant and I saw the fat drops in my cup….tasted pretty good), it’s the deliverance from lice (most children I’ve met have lice and I just barely found out :O …Ehh, I’ll cut my hair short if it happens Pixy cut!…or dare I shave it all off?? ๐Ÿ˜€ย  ), it’s saving me from potential car crashes (you have to honk at the car in front of you if you’re trying to pass them, then get on the opposite lane and drive super fast before a car coming the opposite way gets too close) and so many more I’ve forgotten about or aren’t even aware of!!! Thank you Heavenly Father for your love and care! โค

P.S. if you happen to know this type of ant, please let me know its name and any info about toxicity. I like a good mystery ๐Ÿ™‚

เฎ…เฎ•เฏเฎ•เฎพ Akka (elder sister)

“A good experience does not mean good times, it does not mean fun, it does not even mean fulfilling your goals. A good experience is one from which you can learn.” -Akka

Much needed advice from my wise akka. Although things go well, and life seems like a great dream, there are moments of frustration and discouragement. There are times when you don’t feel needed. You feel like you can’t do anything right! You try and help, but it ends up feeling like your ideas, your suggestions aren’t good enough aren’t bright enough.

I swallow it and think of the positives, but in this time of uncertainty (I’m supposed to go to Hosur today to assist at an orphanage but we can’t travel…I’m breaking my promise to return on Friday ๐Ÿ˜ฆย  I don’t want to leave the friends and family I’ve made here at this ashram) it feels like it’s too much.

I didn’t come here for a fun time. I know I’m not really a tourist, and that I have a mission to complete. But, when she said “…does not even mean fulfilling your goals…” that was like a slap in the face! I came here to be closer to God; to grow more independent; to serve others; to make a difference. Don’t get me wrong, I want to do these things, but I have to remember that I can’t be looking to do my bidding, to achieve my goals, but instead to do God’s bidding and achieve His goals for me. though it feels like I’m not doing anything right, I know that God is here with me and He’ll help me through. I don’t doubt that He’ll help me. If the electricity is out, if there’s no water, if I get lost in the train, it’ll be for the best and for His glory because I want Him to lead the way, not I.

“…A good experience is one from which you can learn.”ย  I’m always learning, I’m learning a few words in Tamil. though I have a foreign accent. I’m learning that if I stare at a person hard enough, I can understand them better though it may be a tad awkward. Most importantly, I’m learning to trust in God, to be humble and to be the vessel from which God’s love pours out like honey, I have to remember these lessons even when it feels so easy/good to do the opposite. Sure, it’s obvious to see God’s love and care for you when the water has finally come back on and you can take a shower, but what about when you miss home and just the sight of a happy family brings tears of loneliness to your eyes? Is God not also caring and loving during your dark times? I can’t…I shouldn’t doubt Him because He’s my heavenly Father who wants what’s best for me. During this time, I will hold on tightly to Him knowing that I will go back home a new and changed person, learning what He has to teach me.